Hey, everyone! We are the gratitude, girls.
the gratitude! Girls are in the house. Hi! Laurie! How are you?
Hi, Katherine! I’m wonderful! How are you?
I’m good. I was just thinking, as I was saying, that if we record outside, then could we still say we’re in the house
Well, it’s it’s really fun to be here. I love the topic that we’re talking about right now. It just seems to be one of those topics that sometimes you don’t want to tell anybody that it happens. But then it’s one of the topics that you really have to talk to someone about
the topic tonight that we’re going to train on is, have you ever been ghosted? I’ll introduce myself first for those of you who do not know me or my partner. My name is Kathryn, as Sarah Meyers, affectionately known as Roars in the house. I’m broadcasting to live tonight from lovely Niagara on the Lake Ontario Canada, and I’m here with my amazing partner.
and I am Laurie Delk Radecki, and I am outside of Nashville, Tennessee.
So we are an international call. You can be ghosted from anywhere in the world, you know. Has it happened right? And then I do. You want to tell anyone? Are you sort of afraid to say that someone ghosted you.
So, Lori, has it happened to you what happened to me?
The beauties of being live with technology. See, you can be ghosted for no apparent reason. It can just be technology. It’s not even that somebody intends to. So what happens when you’re ghosted? Right? You’re having sort of a one way conversation.
Maybe you’re not having complete engagement, or you think you are. And then suddenly, that other person goes away.
It’s not like you’re having sort of an argument with one of your children, and then they decide to give you the cold shoulder. We’re not talking about that. Not that our children do that to us. But we’re talking about not a family feud.
not a feud at all, but someone who just suddenly it goes away. And you think, well, gee! They were a perfect prospect. They would just about to make a decision. And suddenly they’re not there.
Sometimes people are shy, sometimes they don’t want to tell you that they’re not interested. So they tell you what they think you want to hear.
and if you don’t take a breath and stop talking and give them a chance to speak. You’re creating the stories of your mind. Right? Lori.
right? Yeah. And yeah, I apologize for my Internet. But it for whatever reason it’s going out and where I’m at. I’m not hardwired, and and I can’t be right now. So but yes, yeah, it’s so. There’s
and there’s there’s a lot of different reasons, and it could be that that like what Katherine said, like, you’re not listening. You’re not giving them a chance to to allow them to explain or tell you the truth.
Or maybe you’re not asking enough questions or the right questions. right? Or you’re just kinda coming at them with that kind of commission breath that you know nobody likes right.
And so like, or if you walk in the store, you know, like the old saying goes, if you’re if you’re walking down the Walmart aisle and somebody else sees you, and they turn the other way. Well, it’s probably because you have that commission breath
right? And so just talk to people like as a person get to know that?
It helps people like help guys find their issues and genuinely ask them to help them rather than
Well, I want to sell you this. So it’s but yet they don’t have any need for any of those benefits.
Right? I I understood every point you made. If anyone’s not sure, because of the Internet connection, just to just call us, we’ll explain it. But I was talking to someone today. And here’s what I was making a reference to. You know, when you water your garden. Sometimes you have automatic irrigation systems, and sometimes you have a good old fashioned hose. So whatever you do, you look at your flowers and you wonder, does that herb need more water. Do those roses need less water, and you go at your
flowers. Imagine that your phone was your hose. and if you went at your friends and prospects with that hose full force, as if you were going to water them because they looked like they needed it.
It might be okay. But if you go at someone with your phone full force, and they’re really not needing it or wanting it. Well, you could, in fact, break the plant or flower. You could damage it. You might be. Maybe you could kill it. I don’t know, but you certainly could get it to not want you to be around it.
so ghosting would be a sense of going at someone if you were going to sprinkle your garden with water, and you hit full force, and you did that with your cell phone. That would be a good reason to have someone ghost you
because you’re not reading them. So if you do garden, it’s a great time of you to do that. If you look at your flowers, if you have a a landscape, or garden, or company, you will make comments about that looks great that could look better. Do that with the people around you. Think of them as beautiful, strong statement.
flowers that are fragile yet strong meeting. You can break people.
you can get them to go away, or you can empower them. It’s really up to you, and if people are ghosting you. You’re probably hosing them down too much.
Great, yeah, and just and always try to think, you know, like they say, you know. treat people the way you want to be treated right. So think about if
the shoe was on the other foot and they were selling that to you.
and how you’re talking to them. Is that the way that you would want to be talked to? Is that the way you prefer someone to sell to you.
or you know. Are you the type like you when you go into a clothing store? You know that, you know, is commission based right?
And you know, so they’re like hounding you, or they say you know all your butt looks so cute in those jeans, you know it doesn’t right, but you know that they’re just trying to make the sale. Then it’s you know, you’re just like, leave me alone. Let me look. I’m just looking right. You just cut them off. I’m just looking.
And so that’s what those people are doing right. They’re ghosting you by their saying
I’m just looking because they can feel that of you, not genuinely caring
right, but that you’re just wanting to make the sale where you can make the sale, and there’s nothing wrong with making a sale and making money and paying your bills off sales of whatever product or services you sell. There’s nothing wrong with that, but the wrong comes in when
that’s all you’re in it, for is that not in it to really, genuinely help them
more, you just made me think about something. If we were golfers, and if we were playing 21 holes, and we got up at
whatever time we get up in the morning. And we get on that golf course. And we decide that we’re gonna build a relationship with the people we’re playing with. And we have 21 holes.
We are not going to push it at whole 1, 2, or 3, because we’ve got all day to do that. So if you think of the long game, think of the long term relationship building. If in the first 10 min you’re telling people you want me to send you information. You’re you’re losing them at hold 2 and 3, and you’ve got 21 to go so pace yourself.
and if you want someone to have information, and they don’t ask you.
there’s boundaries, and there’s permission that we should really be receiving. And when we’re crossing boundaries, because we think it’s a good idea.
Well, if nobody asked us, hey, what do you think? And maybe we should be given our opinion.
Right? Yeah, exactly. And you know, I just thought of something to this person. Messaged me a couple of days ago.
and I’ve known this person for over 20 years.
and I would count them as a friend. But in the last 20 years.
about once a year, maybe once every 2 years, they message me.
and it might say. Hey, how have you been doing?
But within 2 sentences there is a Oh, you need to hear about this new thing that I found.
or some other way of saying, that same thing right
and literally, I mean at least 10 times over the last 20 years I’ve heard it.
and probably more. And but that’s it. But I never hear from them
between those times. right.
unless I initiate it. But if I don’t initiate it when they initiate it. It’s always because they’ve found some new thing. and that’s the only time they
think to contact me.
And that’s why I love campaign cards and sent out cards.
We look like rock stars when we remember people’s birthdays, you know, there’s something to be said for really understanding what people do, and when they’re born, and when they celebrate, if they celebrate birthdays or anniversaries, or congratulations on on your rank advancement, whatever it is, on a baby, your new puppy. If we’re not really talking to people about their life, and we’re only talking to them about the thing that’s attached to a transaction.
You know, it’s not warm. It’s not fuzzy. So I think we’ve made the point. Now let me ask you a question before we go. What do you do?
What’s your behavior when somebody pushes too hard. I have to think about what I do. But I it’s happened right? People have pushed us
right? Yeah, exactly. And and I do. I usually quit replying back. essentially, ghost them right? Because
you might reply back a few times and be nice and sweet, or whatever. But yeah, when they continue pushing.
then it just fine whatever you know or And and it’s funny you said that, too, because the same person like the last comment they said to me when I politely declined them again.
so do you not think that it’s important to have multiple streams of income?
So, anyway? But but yeah, and so you just that’s it. You just find a reason. Either you say something someone might say, end up saying something rude.
or they, you know, they just politely try to step away.
Or, yeah, they just don’t reply anymore. Just flat out, ghost you, because
they don’t have anything nice to say, well, I like what you said. If somebody is pushing me.
really pushing me for something that’s one sided, I will have a conversation. It may be it’s a text conversation. But I would like to have a conversation and ask.
Is it really important for me to answer you right now? And is there anything else to discuss? Because if I give you a no, does that mean that we no longer have a relationship? And I’m willing to put that on the line, because no, I’m not interested.
Now, where does it go from there
and then I see how people feel, because sometimes they’re uncomfortable, like, oh, well, if you don’t want my candles, and you don’t want me as a friend, and if that’s what they want to think, then you know that’s okay. But I will open the conversation with it with if I tell you exactly how I feel, what happens, and if they don’t look like they’re negotiable because they’re just not that kind of person.
you know. I will ghost them.
I will, because I just really don’t want to get into a moral ethical issue about my integrity. Because I’m not interested in that thing.
Right? Yeah. And we don’t have to be interested in everything that somebody sells right.
And the same thing, not. Everyone’s interested in what we sell, and with the but on that same note.
if we just keep the relationship
and build on the friendship, whether they ever become interested, which they might one day down the road. There things in their life changes and they become interested.
they refer other people because they know other people right. But that’s because we didn’t burn that bridge. And because we genuinely cared about the relationship. And we built the relationship with the person
right. I love that what you just said, and I hope that our audience really grasp that part, you know, stop at this point in the video and replay it, because if you’re there for someone, and their situation changes and their circumstances change, they’ll remember that you were there for them, and they’ll come back.
and they might, in fact, want to know more. They might be ready, or they might know someone else who really appreciates the fact that you didn’t push. So be kind like Lori said. My mom used to tell me this, you know. Treat others as you would like others
to treat you
so. Think about that I think Lori has a little Internet glitch right now, being hardwired is really important. So when you’re not in your own Wi-fi, this this goes on, we get it, I got you back. So if you’re thinking about this, who ghost did you? Who did you ghost?
You know there are ways to make amends to.
You can always revisit that. You can always go back in and knock on the door and take the temperature, and we can talk more about that follow up after being ghosted. So maybe we can do that at our next training. Lori, if you have anything else to say. I love what you said tonight. And I, you know, I’m going to take notes and watch this again.
Yeah, absolutely. And if you have any comments, post them below this video right here, make sure to rate us, review us.
follow us on all social media. We will list all our links below, and if you have something that you want us to train on next, send us a message to go to facebook.com slash gratitude, girls, and make sure to send us a message there and also watch all our past shows. Also go to gratitude. Girlsc. You can see all of our past shows for the last 13 years.
talk to you next week. Everyone. Good night.
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